


We're Fine

by queen_of_hells_bells



Series: So I got bored... [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas is pissed about something, Dean's POV, I'm pretty sure, It's AU, Never did find out what, Roommates, Sad times, just FYI, oh yeah, they're roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 17:39:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1574069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_of_hells_bells/pseuds/queen_of_hells_bells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just an angsty little POV Dean fic about a fight with Cas. His internal monologue, more or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Fine

They fought. They’d fought before, of course, little spats that were over almost before they began, but this was different. Only one was fighting, and the other was left behind, confused and lost. Lost with no direction, as though dropped in the middle of the ocean and told to find the Easter Islands. It was almost too much to take in at one time, suddenly being left behind and abandoned, no knowledge of what was going on.

“He needs his space, just for a little while.” This was all he got, that other boy, the lost one. _He needs his space_? What did that even _mean_? Had he done something? Perhaps his friend was hurt, or upset about something. He just didn’t _know_. And how are you supposed to fix something if you don’t know what happened? The boy let it go for that night. After all, his friend needed his space. He slept fitfully, restfully, waking only once to think about what was going on down the hall where his friend slept.

Because they weren’t just _friends_ , were they? They were best friends, roommates, the two parts of a whole, the other’s better half. All that and more. They understood each other better than anyone else seemed to, as though they’d just been waiting for the other their entire lives. He really didn’t know what he’d do without him: his friend, his roommate, his brother, his best friend, his better half, his completion. 

He’d be lost. Just like he is now.

“I’m fine.” Two words, that’s all it took. Two words that made it clear that absolutely _nothing_ was fine. He’d used them enough himself, used them all the time, really. They were a buffer against anything and anyone he couldn’t let in; people who hadn’t seen him at his lowest, against people who he thought would judge his weakness. It didn’t matter if they actually _would_ or not, he judged them as such, and thus they were condemned to a life of hearing “I’m fine” whenever they inquired about him.

He had to fix it. It was all he knew, it was all there was. It consumed him, this need, _desire_ , to make everything better. It had always been Him job to fix everything, even when others told him he should just leave it, it would work itself out. They kept telling him “He’ll be fine, just let him have his space, he’ll come round.” But what if he didn’t? Then what? He’d be alone, completely alone, with a friend who moved away, hiding himself away.

He’d be lost. He’s already getting there.

In the end, it only took two words, and they were fine. He’d been so afraid of losing him, and all it took was _two words_. They weren’t “I’m sorry”. They weren’t anything like that. They were two words that the boys shared, words the boys treasured, that no one else would ever, _could_ ever understand the significance of. And that was all it took. And now they’re fine, they’re better than fine. In fact, they’re brilliant.

He’s still afraid. Afraid that his friend will suddenly realize what he’s done, tying himself to this crazy boy with irrational fears and no self-worth. Afraid of the future, completely content to wrap himself up in worlds of make-believe and monsters. Afraid that one wrong move could completely collapse this fragile world he’s built for himself, taking away everything he’s fought for in his life. So afraid, of everything, it seems.

The other day, someone asked him how he was. His answer was only two words:

“I’m fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> First: I got bored again, clearly, so here we are again. Good to be back, I think.
> 
> Second: Hope you enjoyed it. I...um...didn't REALLY enjoy writing it, but I was in the mood and it flowed pretty well.
> 
> Third: COMMENT PLEEEEEEASE. (Bonus points if you write in Shakespearean English). Seriously, I'll take positivity, negativity, bland comments about the weather, suggestions for what to write next. Anything. Anything at all, really.
> 
> Fun fact of the day: To be in Ivan the Terrible's army, you were required to have a "fearsome moustache".


End file.
